Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I'll Take You There 06.26.2013 D.G.

Greetings my Brothers & Sisters of the Foundation! Today is a good day!

Today I had a dream! A vision! 

Today I had a prophecy!!!

Please bow your heads right now! and pray to the Almighty for HD clarity, for I am about to paint one of the most vivid pictures of our generation.

Ladies & gentlemen, please close your eyes as I take to a place where some may find it hard to comprehend... some may find it unimaginable... for those who have felt the soul crushing wrath of a hoe's destruction, you may feel the necessity to bring this place to fruition... a place I like to call...

HoeTown, USA

It is a magical place. A place developed after we finally won the war on hoes; a place of grace, glamour, and honesty. Tis only in HoeTown, USA would one not need Night Vision Goggles for the truth bares itself! One would be immune to the shocking emotional scars of a hoe's STD (Strategy, Tragedy, and Disappointment) campaign. Here in HoeTown, USA, there are no hiding places for hoes; those providing safe havens for hoes shall be disposed of expeditiously!

Here in HoeTown, USA... all hoes develop Tramp Stamps within 24 hours of all sexual encounters. OOOOOOHHHHH YA CAN'T HIDE FROM ME IN HOETOWN BABY! "I see you hoe!"

Now these Tramp Stamps are not your typical tattoos on the lower back. These tramp stamps are physical barcodes that appear on the hoe's body after each sexual encounter. A white barcode means the hoe recently performed oral sex. The black barcode means the hoe recently had sex. The green barcode means there were multiple partners involved in the hoe's most recent sexual encounter. And the red barcode means "DANGER! Don't go in there! That last partner wasn't safe!"

Each Tramp Stamps consists of a scannable barcode which brings up a line-item report of the hoe's last performance. Above each barcode are the initials of the hoe's last partner,  and below each barcode is the date and time of that particular hoe-encounter.



OOOOOOOOOOHHH GOLLY MISS MOLLY! Family, I want your to open your eyes right now! turn to your neighbor and say, "Neighba! I know a place!"

Family! These hoes would no longer be able to shadow their hoe intentions! These hoes would no longer be able to deny themselves as Peter denied Jesus!

HoeFax.com would instantly become the #1 most profitable mega corporation world-wide, as their "Scan Dat Hoe" application would be the most downloaded app on the iPhone and Android market.

Traffic lights in all major metropolitan areas would have built-in hoe scanners with megatron screens on the side skyscrapers, displaying the amount of hoes currently moving through our cities.

Sisters of the Foundation... understand you can breathe easy knowing that you may be living in a low hoe level community. And if somehow you are in a heavily hoe-ridden area, you'll consciously have the presence of mind have to lace up your combat boots everyday and fight for your man's heart, as well as the cleanliness of your man's Kong Johnson.

For information is the greatest weapon of all! And in HoeTown, USA, these hoes have no chance! The jig is up! "For not only do I see you hoe... but I also scanned yo ass too!"

But still be weary my beloved Foundation! For the way of the hoe is full of strategy, tragedy, and disappointment. Even in HoeTown, USA, hoes have found a way to hide their Tramp Stamps using make-up! Hoes may also keep their Tramp Stamps hidden with lingerie and things of that nature! Make that hoe shower! And watch for any possible scannable hoe-signs.

HoeTown, USA may be a Foundationite's paradise, but one must still remain on high alert, and be on the look out for suspicious hoe activity.

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"Hoes only have the capacity to like! They love no one but themselves!"

- Reverend Stacey MoonWalker III

Monday, June 3, 2013

Hoe Tales, Part 1 06.03.2013 D.G.


Good Day my Brothers & Sisters. On this day, I simply want to share a story...

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In the small town of Bookman, New Jersey, two women were randomly selected to race against each other in local town fair for the grand total of $2000. 

One woman was Tanya - a single well-respected business women with two bachelor degrees from Winstin College, and a masters from Yupton University. Tanya had just recently moved to Bookman from... from... as of matter of fact, no one really knows where Tanya previously resided.... hmmph

Now on the other hand, we have Jasmine, best known as “Cookie” - she was the infamous neighborhood hoe! Ooooooooh there wasn’t a penis Cookie couldn’t crumble, or at least try. All the guys loved her, and alllllll the women despised her very existence. Cookie was as fierce as they cum!

As they lined up for the 100 meter dash, they both saw something that was worthy of an “Oh My God”! The only difference was that Tanya’s OMG was out of shock & dismay, and Cookie’s OMG was one of excitement & joy. What they both saw, in that very same moment... was their Physical Challenge before they could cross the finishing line and claim the $2000 cash prize.

Rules Of The Physical Challenge:

Announcer: “Here, stand two men! Two strong lads with their hands tied behind their backs... blindfolds over their eyes.... and BUTT BOOTY NAKED! Your challenge is to ssssssuck your designated penis until ejaculation before crossing the finish line to claim your cash prize!!!”

And just like that! The crowd started to roar! The place erupted with cheers & chants in favor of the local favorite. Even the women who once hated her, cheered for Cookie, as they did not want a “foreigner” to walk away with the win.

Tanya did not look like she was the right person to be selected for this race. She huffed & puffed , showing her clear lack of enthusiasm for such a public & disgraceful display of filth. She even cried that she wanted no parts of the race. But as she started to walk away from the starting line, THE GUN WENT OFF *POP* THE RACE HAD BEGUN!!!!!

Cookie, with the biggest smile on her face, took flight! One has never seen a human being run that fast! She was well on her way of making history by breaking the Town Fair Record.... aaaaalllll for her love of penis! Some may call it a damn shame, while others say she’s simply responding to her calling.

Seeing how Tanya hadn’t even left the starting line, the crowd started to turn away in disappointment. They wanted to see a competition! No one wanted to waste their time watching Cookie suck dick. They can get THAT show any day of the week; so soon EEEEVERYONE left! The once cheerful crowd had now abandoned their local “favorite” to suck penis in silence...


The very next morning, the local paper’s front page headlines read as such:


SHE SHOCKED THE WORLD! IT’S A TIE!

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What’s the lesson, you ask?

Hoes & Secrets go together like Kool-aid & Sugar! You can't have one without the other... And also every hoe knows you can’t just walk away from two months rent in cash prizes! 

Today I want you all to reflect. Turn your attention inward, and discover your inner-hoe. And after you've succeeded, you'll be able to recognize the dark hoe in others using your Night Vision Goggles. One must be able to recognize a hoe's spirit before engaging with the enemy..... Takes A Hoe To Save A Hoe! And it is my GOD-GIVEN DUTY to bring aaaalllll these hoes back to civility, and one day, to the Promise Land.

Take care my Brothers & Sisters, and Good Day!"

- Rev. Stacey MoonWalker II